Well I hate to say it but I was pleased we had some rain yesterday as it was needed for the garden and for our farmers who are struggling with the dry ground.

I often use the analogy of gardening when I tell people what I do – that is ‘grow’ people.  Obviously not in the sense of height but in their emotional well being and empowering them to expand and grow from a being able to do more than they think they are capable of.

Like any garden, if we don’t nurture our mental health and well being things won’t change very quickly.  When we want and decide to change the habitual way we think e.g. to be more positive, like any habit it needs practice.  That is where a lot of people give up.  They read a book about self help, put it back on the shelf and then wonder why nothing changes! I did that too many years ago!

So, like any garden that needs the rain as well as sunshine, we need to ‘weed’ out the stuff we don’t need and tend to the things we value.  With any life changes we want to achieve, we have to practice, practice, practice and most of all DO SOMETHING different by taking action.

How’s your garden growing?

Whatever the weather – enjoy and think of the benefits.

7^th June 2013

Continuing our theme from last week, thank goodness we have had more lovely weather and boy does it do wonders for our mood and happiness.  All of a sudden, people start smiling more and seem to enjoy life more whether it’s being able to get in the garden, get some sunshine on our faces or just seeing people more as they’re not scuttling away to get home and the central heating!

People seem less likely to moan and groan or even blaming the weather for how they feel. How often do we do that?  We blame the weather, other situations, other people, the government – the list is endless.  You name it we can blame anything for our level of happiness.  The secret of course is that it comes from inside.  It’s not what happens externally that makes us happy, but our own belief system and how we react to situations.  Let’s look at this more next week!

Enjoy the sunshine.

Following on from last week’s blog, my thoughts are leading me towards the inspired people who attended the self harm training yesterday in Grimsby.  There were people from Louth and Scunthorpe as well as Grimsby – some from large, private  companies, some from mental health services and some from voluntary services.

All of them were there because they want to be able support their patients, clients, staff and service users and wanted to have the information, understanding and strategies to be able to do so.  So many people are working with people who self harm and have not had training and are often afraid of saying the wrong thing or offering the wrong advice.  It is obviously beneficial if practitioners have at least some basic knowledge and understanding in how to support people as well as being able to signpost to potential resources.

As this is a health related issue and covers so many professions ranging from the police, voluntary sector, education, workplace etc etc, it would be great to see it as mandatory training someday.

Last night I was fortunate to attend an event at the Business Hive and listen to an inspirational talk by Liz Jackson who shared her amazing story with us.  You may have heard of her from the Secret Millionnaire  programme on Channel 4.

Not only did this lady leave school with 1 GCSE but she started losing her eyesight as she set up her own business doing telemarketing.  She now has an MBE and is recognized as a motivational speaker worldwide.

She shared several anecdotes with us and some of her favourite sayings and books including a couple of my favourites:

Dale Carnegie – How to win friends and influence people.

Whether you think you can or you can’t – you are probably right!

A helping hand

Since last week,I have read 2 reports that state that Self Harm is increasing.  One national paper had an article on the number of self poisoning cases that are up by a whopping 50% in a decade! In 2011 more than 300 people a day were admitted to hospital who had self poisoned and I guess there will be plenty more that do not present at hospital who we would not find out about.  Most of this is taking an overdose of pills and according to the Red Cross most people would not know how to help someone at risk of self harming, which is very worrying.  That is why I am on a mission (and have been for years) to educate and inform people from all walks of life, whether they are helping a friend, family member, patient, client or member of the public. If we have some understanding  and knowledge, we’d go a long way to helping people who need it.  If this is something you would like to do, please click on the link below.

http://youplus.co.uk/archives/620

Young people and self harm

3^rd May 2013

Sadly, we keep reading in the media and hearing on the news about the increase in the number of young people who are turning to Self Harm as a way of coping with unbearable emotional upset and turmoil.  There is so much pressure on our young people these days, not just academically, but job wise, peer pressure etc etc.

What we often forget though is that as well as the young people themselves who are struggling with these overwhelming feelings, there are the parents, carers, other family members, friends, school friends, teachers and other people involved, who also need support, advice and information.  Obviously, there is the internet which has tons of information but it is impersonal and there is nothing like person to person support for both the person involved and people associated with them.

We will look at this again on another blog.

presents

A ONE DAY WORKSHOP on SELF HARM AWARENESS

on

Thursday 23rd May 2013 – 09.30 – 16.00

at

Freeman Street Resource Centre, 41-43 Kent Street, Grimsby, DN32 7DH.

 Target audience:

Counsellors, Social services, Education, Health, Police, Voluntary & Community Groups & anyone who has been affected by or has an interest in Self Harm

Following the workshop, you will be able to:

• define the term ‘self harm’
• have an understanding of the different types of self harm
• challenge the myths, beliefs and realities around self harm
• identify why people self harm
• learn strategies and support mechanisms to help others
• and much more

£65 per person including handouts and refreshments

To book a place or for more information please contact:

Jan Rilatt Tel: (01472) 599589    Mob: 0774 999 6672

Email: janrilatt@youplus.co.uk                             www.youplus.co.uk

Places are limited, so please book early to avoid disappointment

12^th April 2013

Many people think that happiness can be bought and that having a new car, new clothes, exotic holidays will be sufficient.  However, we can all do things for ourselves that can make us happier without spending money.

1. Connect with others  – especially if you live alone.  Make an effort to get out if you can even to the local shop and connect with people.  Say hello, smile etc. Very uplifting!
2. Exercising is always good – even sitting in a chair. Just move what you can, stretch, anything!
3. Cook a nice meal
4. Try something different – a new food, a different way to walk to work etc, a different TV programme.
5. Give – time, money, experience, a smile etc

5 more next week!

19^th April 2013

In addition to last weeks tips here are 5 more to help people realise that happiness cannot be bought and we can all do things for ourselves that can make us happier.

1. Think about your body language.  How do you ‘hold’ yourself?   We all can feel better by shrugging those shoulders, holding our head high and releasing tension from our jaws.
2. Ring someone you haven’t spoken with for a while
3. Treat yourself to something new – it doesn’t have to cost a fortune.  A magazine, bunch of flowers or really nice bottle of wine.
4. De-clutter a cupboard, drawer or garden shed.  Believe me you’ll feel so virtuous!
5. Get out your holiday snaps – apparently it can boost your happiness by 10%more than eating and drinking.

Bonus tip.  L          O         L          Laugh out loud!

It releases happy chemicals in the body.

5^th April 2013

I overheard a conversation the other day and noticed that the person was talking to herself in a very negative way.  It was along the lines of “………it’s awful being hard up; I’ll never have any money….”

Well the thing she probably didn’t realize is that if that’s how she talks to herself, that’s what she’ll get!

How a man thinketh, so shall he be

Compared to a lot of people, this person was not that ‘hard up’, it was her perception of what it means to want or have more.

However. the more we repeat messages like that to ourselves, the more it becomes a belief or ‘truth’ to that person and subconsciously we will look for evidence to support that belief.

So, think about what things you say to yourself and what effect that is having on your life, whether it’s around finance, happiness, confidence or…..?

If it’s negative as per the example above, you may want to change those thoughts and try thinking about what you do have rather than what you don’t.

Begin by putting a positive spin on the negative thought and when you feel or hear yourself revert back to your original thought, try again.  You may find it easier to write it down or repeat often to yourself.  Our beliefs started way back and they become habitual ways of thinking and beliefs can be changed through practice and repetition.

Try it and see what a difference you can make just by changing the way you talk to yourself